There comes a time when the only way to start living is to tell the truth. To be who you really are, even if it is dangerous.—Matt Haig, How to Stop Time. Highlighted
You become anxious when anticipating social situations because you feel you cannot just show up as you are, so you will have to perform.—Brianna Wiest, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think. Highlighted
We expect others to be honest and open with their intentions, especially romantically, but how many people are we keeping on the back burner?—Brianna Wiest, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think. Highlighted
Do you assume other people are doing you a favor by giving you love and spending time with you? Do you ever think about the fact that they likely are just as hungry for love?—Brianna Wiest, 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think. Highlighted
The cultural atmosphere is … more conducive to anxiety-driven attempts to prove one’s goodness through faith in the dogma than it is to the creation of authentic relationships in which we are allowed to be imperfect (which is to say, human) or the development of meaningful social change.—Kai Cheng Thom, I Hope We Choose Love. Highlighted
This is an important lesson for someone with an anxious attachment style: If you just wait a little longer before reacting and jumping to conclusions, you will have an uncanny ability to decipher the world around you and use it to your advantage.—Amir Levine, Attached. Highlighted
…Studies have found that faced with a stressful life event, such as divorce, the birth of a severely disabled child, or military trauma, avoidants’ defenses are quick to break down and they then appear and behave just like people with an anxious attachment style.—Amir Levine, Attached. Highlighted
Getting attached means that our brain becomes wired to seek the support of our partner by ensuring the partner’s psychological and physical proximity. If our partner fails to reassure us, we are programmed to continue our attempts to achieve closeness until the partner does.—Amir Levine, Attached. Highlighted
You are stupid right now. You sleep.—Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary. Highlighted
I have worried all over the world. It comes to me easily. Formed slowly through childhood like stalactites in a cave.—Ellen Bass, Mules of love. Highlighted
One recent study shows that for people who have a high need to feel unique (a common characteristic of artists and innovators), social rejection causes them to score higher on tests of creativity. The outsider identity, which rejection reinforces, nurtures their ability to innovate.—Lisa A. Phillips, Unrequited. Highlighted
“The seeker has a confirmation bias, looking for positive signs and discounting the negative ones,” Baumeister said. “If there’s ambivalence, it’s going to prolong the hope, because there are enough positives to seize on and overinterpret. The negatives you can brush aside.”—Lisa A. Phillips, Unrequited. Highlighted
Of course he didn’t want to discuss what had just happened. Because nothing had happened. We shook hands. I imagined the rest.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
I could feel his breath, his heart, which was beating too hard and too fast for him to be sleeping.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
I read over and over this brief exchange, wringing it dry for hidden meaning. And for the next few hours I rest easy knowing where you are, who you’re with, and that I’m on your mind.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
Invite your dream date to dinner. While everyone else is nervously preparing, you jump right in, unafraid to fail.—Derek Sivers, How to Live. Highlighted
