“The seeker has a confirmation bias, looking for positive signs and discounting the negative ones,” Baumeister said. “If there’s ambivalence, it’s going to prolong the hope, because there are enough positives to seize on and overinterpret. The negatives you can brush aside.”—Lisa A. Phillips, Unrequited. Highlighted
When we’re caught up in unsatisfied desire, we can write the story of our love ... This is fundamentally a creative act, often full of pleasure at first ... yet being together means facing reality, which will probably fall short of the self-centered fantasy.—Lisa A. Phillips, Unrequited. Highlighted
Of course he didn’t want to discuss what had just happened. Because nothing had happened. We shook hands. I imagined the rest.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
I wanted a fix. A hit. A tiny little taste of you. Instead, I feel like a spider in an empty web, waiting for vibrations that never come. A single strum on one silk strand would do. A gentle hum in the gossamer. But all is quiet. All is still. And another lonely week looms large.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
had I not been struck by the upside-down image of my frilly ankle socks, once white, now turning bright red. Like a cartoon animal who doesn’t fall until they notice that the ground is gone, the sight of my own blood made me suddenly aware of the searing pain in my heels. I tore off my shiny black shoes and peeled the blood-soaked socks from my feet before righting myself and continuing my search barefoot.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
And look, I know how this goes. I know that by the time you get married I’ll have healed enough that I can smile for you too. But this foresight barely makes a dent in the agony of imagining it now. Somehow, each fresh loss feels different, like a maze with shifting walls; I know there’s a way out, but I’m fucked if I can find it.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
I read over and over this brief exchange, wringing it dry for hidden meaning. And for the next few hours I rest easy knowing where you are, who you’re with, and that I’m on your mind.—Hazel Hayes, Better by Far. Highlighted
If you have feelings for someone, and you don’t let that person know, you’re lying with your silence. Be direct. It saves so much trouble and regret.—Derek Sivers, How to Live. Highlighted
Projecting perfection onto someone is not love. You say “I love you” but really mean “I love this”.—Derek Sivers, How to Live. Highlighted