A few days before I left for my vacation, I made the decision to record as much of it as possible through vlogging. I wanted to record it because I have been absolutely addicted to the videos of Tokidoki Traveller lately. They’re so visually and auditorily pleasing, and Emma does a masterful job with the feeling her channel creates. It feels like she’s a close friend, and her viewers get to come right along on her journeys in Japan.

I really, really wanted to make something like that (and still do).

When I found out that I would have two back-to-back vacations to Colorado and Hawaii, each with a part of my family, I saw my chance. So upon arriving in Colorado, I started recording.

The problem is that I’m extremely introverted. I feel really uncomfortable recording myself in front of other people, and even when I’m alone with the camera, my voice gets quiet and higher-pitched. So I’ve been vlogging, but not very well. Most of the video I’ve captured has been of landscapes, car rides, and other potentially interesting perspectives. It’s not that I haven’t talked at all, but I’ve done a pretty poor job of documenting everything as I had originally planned.

Now, I’m in Hawaii. I’m still recording video, but the most likely route forward is that I will go to some private place and record myself talking in front of my camera as genuinely as possible about my trips.

I may still upload some of my content to YouTube, even though I know I will look back on it and cringe. If I do, that’d mean I’d improved. I will try not to let the fear of being “cringeworthy” overcome my desire to create art.